By HorseShoePride on 22:07:24 03/10/06
A new Big Ten cinematic blockbuster released in theaters on Friday March 10. Starring... Thad Matta as the "high school crush" of twenty years ago. Featuring The Ohio State University as "Thad's wife", and finally the entire Indiana University basketball fanbase as "the ugly girl at prom." RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, our sneak preview on the OZONE....
(Voice-over) 15 years ago, in a small pedestrian town in rural Indiana, a beautiful girl had the world by her fingertips. Elegant, popular, and on the path to success... (cue music) But that was then (drums bang)...AND THIS IS NOW
(Ugly Girl)"THAD, THAD, don't you see... I love you. Don't you remember twenty years ago when I was the Prom Queen, the girl every guy wanted? I'm still her! Sure I've put on 55 lbs, and gone through two husbands, and sure no one pays much attention to me, but I can be great again. If we are together, I know I CAN BE POPULAR AND IMPORTANT AGAIN! I know I was your DREAM twenty years ago, so you must still have feelings!"
(Thad) "But, I'm married now! And its going great. My wife is beautiful, and smart, and supports me 100%. WE are successful together, and the future couldn't look any better. And to be honest, you aren't the same woman you were 20 yrs ago. I didn't even recognize you when you walked in with your low self-esteem, your pegged jeans, and that god awful red sweater with the white turtle neck underneath. I just wish you could move on and quit living in the past, I'm not leaving my wife. Twenty years ago, you were all I wanted, and now when I look at you I realize that you are the farthest thing from what I want. What have you done over the past twenty years? Two divorces? No major accomplishments? And you are still talking about how great you were when "Culture Club" was the hottest musical group in America?..."
"Look, there is still time for you. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Sure they may not be as smart as I am, or as well liked as I am, or as successful as I am. But there are many guys who would love to hear about what you did in high school, and would love to see your yearbook from '86 and how great you were."
-Thad's wife approaches-
(Thad's wife) "Thad, honey, are you about ready to get out there and DANCE? You know everyone here is excited to see just how good of a couple we are dancing."
(Thad) "Sure thing. Lets go... (looks back at Ugly Girl) it was great to see you, and I'm very humbled that you thought of me. BUT, you just aren't what you used to be, and I have to do what's best for me now. Not what would have been best twenty years ago. And FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, please, please, get some new clothes, quit teasing your bangs, unpeg your jeans, and learn to live for today."
(Ugly Girl) "BUT THAD, I love you!!! I need you!!! You need me!!!
(Voice-over) This March, heartbreak knows no limits! Will Thad and is wife DANCE all through the night? Will the Ugly Girl ever be loved again? Can she finally get someone to appreicate her 80's beauty and mistique? Only time will tell when.... THE UGLY GIRL COMES HOME.