By BuckeyeJohn05 on 20:19:41 05/22/07
but I had a hard time sleeping last night due to the fact that I kept imagining what it would look like if many on this board got subpoenaed to court. I am first to admit that I am not Gerd or Unamed when it comes to stuff like this:
BAILIFF: ALL RISE
BAILIFF: SIR up front, I said RISE!
Eduardo: Me? Dude, that is so tired.
BAILIFF: My apologies.
JUDGE: I call Silverback to the witness stand.
Silverback, can you tell us what you know about defamation situation?
Silverback: YES...
Courtroom: Snickers
JUDGE: ENOUGH! ORDER!
JUDGE: We will try this again. What are your thoughts about this defamation situation?
SILVERBACK: He's just the product of our failed school system, and the mental disorder know as liberalism. He also shows classic Liberal victim disorder..
JUDGE: DISMISSED! PLease no Political statements!
JUDGE: I call to the stand, RPBuckMurphy"
JUDGE: RP, What do you know about the this situation?
RPBUCKMURPHY: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
JUDGE: Sir, may I ask what is so funny?
RPBUCKMURPHY: JEB is the Smart one LOLOLOLOLO
Judge: Someone get this guy out of here
JUDGE: NUKEM, please come to the witness stand
JUDGE: Sir, may I suggest that your T-Shirt is not court room appropiate?
NUKEM: You're kidding right? It's my best one.
JUDGE: NO! NEXT!
JUDGE: I call to the stand, Gerd.
JUDGE: Gerd, please, what can you tell us about the this situation?
Gerd: Well, frankly the guy was a troll and a flamer!
JUDGE: What exactly does that mean?
Gerd: Internet talk. Basically, he was a nuisance and his banning was warranted.
JUDGE: FINALLY! We have a decent testimony!
DA: Your Honor, may I please note to the court that Gerd is wearing his UM shirt and had a Decepticon tattoo. How can such a man be trusted?
JUDGE: GOOD POINT! NEXT!
JUDGE: I call to the stand Chi Town Buck
JUDGE: You have to be kidding me! I mean, is he even alive! He doesn't know what the heck is going on! Next!
(Chi falls and breaks his hip again)
JUDGE: Buck68, come on down
JUDGE: OK 68, what do you know?
Buck68: How can one Know if one doesn't know ONE?
Judge: WTF?
Buck68: It's very simple ::-)} Well, is anything very simple?.....at all...or ....maybe if we know One, but diversity teaches that no one is One...
Judge: WTF? Next!
Judge: Eduardo! Well, I feel good about this. This young man works very close to the White House. Impressive. So what do you have to say about this situation?
Eduardo: SO frickin drunk
Judge: What?
Eduardo: Hi!
Judge: Ugh...goodbye
JUDGE: SLOMO!
DA:
Judge: NEXT
Judge :BuckeyeinGeorgia
DA: Your honor, Two words "rocket-car"
Judge: Oh for Pete sake..Next!
Judge: BlueHenBuckeye, please come on down. How are you today sir?
BlueHen: Not good. Gas prices hit $3:49. The war is not going well, and the economy is due to crash at any minute. THe health care system sucks. Schools are being robbed.
Judge: Next! Man, that was depressing
JUDGE: EUROCAT, please be normal
EUROCAT: I am a moderate so that is not a problem.
Judge: Ugh OK. What do you know about the this situation?
EUROCAT: I feel his first amendment rights were violated.
JUDGE: How so?
EURO: Well, he was banned and the Republicans on the forum always gang up on him.
JUDGE: But how were his rights violated?
EURO: I told you already
JUDGE: No you didnt'
EURO: Yes, I did.
Judge: What kind of Euro-logic is that? NEXT! Damn Latvians!
Silverback: KA-BOOM
JUDGE: Blackford OAKes, please come on down.
Blackforde: Will this take long? I have a whole day of Tennis ahead of me
JUDGE: Your a tennis player?
Blackford: "You're"
Judge: Oh come on. Don't be THAT guy. How annoying
Blackford: "*"
Judge: Sir, I hope you weren't offended.
Blackford:
(Sips his Soy milk)
I wasn't. You should be embarrassed by your ENGLISH however.
Judge: Next!
JUDGE: BuckDuck, come on down.
DA: Your honor, before you question Mr BuckDuck, may I mention that he tackled a mentally retarded kid, considered dating his daughter's much younger soccer coach and lives in Nebraska?
Judge: Thank You! Next
Judge: Last one, Zanzibar. I see you are a technology guy, have a degree in Geology and are a Family guy. Impressive.
Zanzibar: Thank You.
Judge: Can you tell us what happened?
Zanzibar: Judge, I pulled up all of his posts for the past 5 years that he posted. Clearly he changed handles many times and was nothing other than a flamer.
Judge: Compelling evidence. Thank you.
DA: Perhaps, the court should know that Zanzibar is also a expert at Anime cartoons.
Judge: Like Bugs Bunny?
DA: No, those crazy Japanese cartoons. The man is a expert when it comes to Anime. He often poses challenges to the board to figure out who the character is. How normal is that?
Judge: Oh, I can't stand those cartoons. I will have to take this into consideration when I consider his credibility.
Edited by original poster [20:22:05 05/22/07]