By Tom Green on 15:35:36 05/22/02
Ohio State: Basketball team has had four straight 20-win seasons.
Ohio State: Baseball team has won half of the Big Ten titles over the past dozen years.
Ohio State: Eddie George.
Ohio State: Jack Nicklaus breaking par.
Ohio State: Brutus Buckeye, a decades-old tradition.
Ohio State: Hard work pays off as O’Brien’s team goes to the Final Four in the coach’s second year.
Ohio State: Silver bullets mow down the opponent.
Ohio State: St. John – Patron saint of friendships.
Ohio State: Magnificent Ohio Stadium.
Ohio State: Workers expand Ohio Stadium to make it higher and more beautiful.
Ohio State: "The Big House" refers to a penal facility.
Ohio State: Star player (Spielman) pictured on a cereal box, as a hero
Ohio State: The synchronized swimming team is da bomb. Joe Germaine completed bombs.
Ohio State: Coaches think expulsion from the football team, for a year, may not be punishment enough for a young offender.
Ohio State: Script Ohio.
Ohio State: O’Brien’s boys rule the court, regularly.
Ohio State: Scarlet Fever
Feel free to add your own comparisons.
Michigan: Last time um was a basketball power was when they paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to buy a team.
Michigan: Last time um was a baseball power was when they illegally used hockey scholarships to buy a team.
Michigan: Charles Woodson.
Michigan: Wolverines breaking parole.
Michigan: No mascot. The old mascot, ScarFace the KleptoWeasel, now sleeps with the fishes (he accidentally walked in on a … uh … coaches’ meeting).
Michigan: Ed Martin pays off, but the Fab Five time out in their quest to purchase a championship.
Michigan: Stray bullets mow down innocent bystanders, caught in the cross-fire.
Michigan: St. Dismas – Patron saint of the imprisoned.
Michigan: Port-o-Stady, emptied weekly.
Michigan: Builders tried to bury their eyesore.
Michigan: Same.
Michigan: Star player (pick one) pictured at the post office, as a serial offender
Michigan: Ted Kaczynski mailed bombs.
Michigan: Coaches think making players miss the first play of the football game is sufficient punishment for young offenders.
Michigan: Scripted FBI testimony.
Michigan: Amaker’s boys appear in court, regularly.
Michigan: HemmaLloyds