By longtimebuckeyesfan on 12:24:33 11/21/02
Thanks to a little luck(and a $50 bill for the doorman) we were able to get our microphone hidden in the meeting again this week. Here is a transcript of the conversations that took place at the meeting yesterday.
Moderator: Gentlemen, thank you for attending and welcome to this week's meeting of the Opposing QB Club. I'm please to see we have a full house today. We'll get started with the roll call and then introduce our guest.
Moderator: Kingsbury?
Kingsbury: Here
Moderator: Cribbs, Gesser, Rislov and Guidguli?
Cribbs: We're all here.
Moderator: Mills, Abdul-Kahliq, Kirsch and Orten?
Mills: Yep, all here.
Moderator: Sorgi?
Sorgi: Here.
Moderator: Well, Mr Bollinger, nice to see you again. Glad you could make it, Brooks.
Bollinger: Thank you. I'm glad to be here. I apologize for missing the meeting last week. Due to a couple of licks I took, my head has been in a funny place.
Gesser: Yea, up your ass!!!
Moderator: Be nice Jason.
Moderator: To complete the roll call, Buetjer?
Buetjer: I'm here.
Moderator: I have to be honest, I never expected to have this many members when this club was started. All of you were faced with the opportunity to beat Ohio State and all of you have failed and today we have a special guest from the University of Michigan, John Navarre. John will lead his team into Ohio Stadium this Saturday to play the Buckeyes.
Kingsbury: And he'll lead them back to the locker room with their tails between their legs when it's over just like the rest of us.
Rislov: He's right, Navarre. None of us could beat these guys and you've played against of some these guys in the Big 10, so you know they're not stiffs, but nobody, NOBODY could beat the Buckeyes. What makes you think you're gonna do anything different?
Navarre: We have history and tradition on our side.
Mills: History and tradition?!?!? It doesn't matter if you have Davis and Blanchard or Montana and Rice on your side, I've seen you play. You're going down. I bought all my Johnsons, the winningest coach in Division 1, a lot of history and a tuckload of tradition, and we didn't win.
Navarre: You didn't beat us either, Lefty.
Mills: That's 'cuz the refs sucked. JoePa said so.
Bollinger: You gotta be careful John, I was hit by Cie Grant in our game. I never saw him coming and he hit me square. I remember seeing a snot bubble about the size of Jupiter in front of my face then things went black. These guys aren't like the OSU teams you're thinking of.
Abdul-Kahliq: We were rolling when we came into Columbus and they smoked us.
WHAM!!!!!!!
Moderator: What was that????!!!!
Sorgi: It was Brooks. He bent over to pick up a penny he saw on the floor and hit his head on the table. He's got that look in his eyes....
Moderator: Are you OK Brooks? Do you know where you are?
Bollinger: Of course I do. I'm Brooksina, the fairy princess of loveliness. I live in a castle, wear flowing silk dresses and have yellow ribbons in my hair. I watch over my gnomes and everyone in the kingdom thinks I'm beautiful.
Buetjer: Everyone here thinks you're nuts!
Orten: By the way, nice game Buetjer. Whose idea was it to get sacked on your first play of overtime? There's a winning strategy. Let's start off a "must score" situation by losing ten yards. Did you practice that play in hopes of fooling Ohio State?
Buetjer: We almost scored.
Kirsh: Is that like almost winning? Or almost going to a bowl game? Or gee, we were almost Big 10 Champs except for the 6 or 7 games we lost.
Kingsbury: You're one to talk Brandon. Why don't you take your sub 500 record and go beat the crap out of Indiana so you can win a bucket trophy. I'm sure that's a big deal. I'd give my left arm for a bucket trophy.
Navarre: Hey Kliff, you had a great game against Texas last week. What's the big difference between Texas and Ohio State.
Kingsbury: Ohio State is coached by a great coach. Texas is coached by a great recruiter.
Navarre: This is a big game for us and you know what they say about this time of year...
Bollinger: September is for pretenders and November is for cranberries!!!!
Navarre: Is he always like this?
Gesser: Only on days that end in "y".
Rislov; Look Navarre, I've been coming here for more weeks than I care to admit, but here's what I know. Kingsbury has thrown the ball for two million yards and 700 touchdowns this year. Some people say he reminds them of David Klingler. Against Ohio State, he played like Max Klinger. Gesser has his Cougars #3 in the country. They'd be #2 if they had played MURRAY STATE instead of OHIO STATE. Cribbs has 1,000 yards passing and rushing again this year. He about 3 yards of each versus Ohio State. Mills, Abdul-Kahliq, Guidguli and the rest of them have had big games this year. Against OSU they stunk and you think that is a coincidence???
Navarre: You guys are forgetting I played them last year. Besides Michigan always beats Ohio State.
Abdul-Kahliq: Really? Did you beat them last year?
Navarre: Well...err...uuummm...no.
Bollinger: You tell him, John!!!! You know, i've always liked you because you wear the number 16 and 16 always reminds me clinged peaches. They're my favorite.
Moderator: Sorgi, can you take Brooks outside? Maybe you can find him a toy to play with.
Gesser: Maybe he can chase parked cars.
Buetjer: So John, what's your game plan?
Navarre: We plan on taking the crowd out of the game?
Cribbs: Really? So you must be bringing like what, a thousand busses to get the folks out of there? Let's see a little over 100 people per bus at 1,00o busses...yep that will do. How long do you think that will take you because ABC only has three hours of air time.
Navarre: No Josh, we're going to score early, get a lead and make the fans sit on their hands.
Kingsbury: Nice try. Here's what will really happen. You won't score. You'll never have the lead and the fans will be in your face. Been there. Done that.
Navarre: You guys really don't think we're going to win?
ALL: Not if YOU'RE going to play quarterback!!!!
Navarre: Unlike the rest of you guys, I think I've got a chance to win.
Mills: I think you've got a better chance of ending up like Bollinger.
Navarre: We'll see.
Guidguli: The only thing we'll see-- is you-- at our next meeting. By the way, we want to get started on your member jacket, what are you about a 48 long?
Moderator: Gentlemen, that's all the time we have. Until our next meeting, we are officially adjourned.
Edited by original poster [12:28:37 11/21/02]